" im in too deep.. i lingered a little bit too long.. "


i have to stop thinking that im still fifteen.
yes, it was awesome.
yes, that made me feel like i had a life.
but im turning nineteen.. in like, a month? geez.

i can't stay that way.
my god. it's four years ago.
get over it, woman!

i feel like, everyone around me is growing up.
im doing the opposite, cos i didnt want to grow up.

being a kid is good.
but then again, no matter how hard deep in denial..
it doesnt change the fact that you're, growing.

i realize something recently.
no matter what, you'll always get older.
you can always stay this way and be scrutinized,
or find a way and open your eyes.

was with my brothers, joking around as usual..
thn i realize.. they're four years younger thn me.

when they finally reach the 'legal' age,
i'll be twenty-two.
i feel tensed thinking about it.

i cant stay this way.
i told myself that i dont want to be a loser. again.

once bitten, twice shy as they say.

when school starts, i think i will change.
i might be annoying or what.
but i will change.

maybe the way i look or smth,
but definitely my personality.
i need to think further.

i'll only depend on myself now.
cos i know i will never disappear.
i will never ignore myself.

i can do whatever i like.

this is me. this is it.

chrysalis. yeah that's it.
i think i'll stay in it for a while.

-SHAA