i dont want to lie to myself anymore ..
i dont have anymore energy left in me ..
im getting tired by th day ..
fatigue finally got to me, and i dont know th cause of it .

it started from days, to weeks, and now months ..
with lapses of tranquility in between ..

where's th happy me gone to ..
i think she's dead ..

i know tht sentence sounds like a broken record .
so many posts with tht sentence ..
but i think ..

from th first time i said i lost my happy self,
she never came back ..
and all i was ..

was just a mere shadow of what i once was ..

someone once told me to be myself ..
but, if you lost yourself ..
and you dont know who you are ..
how do you turn back .. ?

these things, have no answers ..

they just happen,
and the speed of tht change depends on th situation.

i think i lost something very important ..
i lost something that all humans must not lack ..

the feeling of wanting to love,
and the feeling of wanting to be loved .

what are you .. when you lost that .. ?

you become just another empty shell,
breathing just for the sake of breathing ..
nothing else matters .

- SHAA