even if i did hurt him .
it wasnt as bad as you isnt it ?
you hurt yourself .
and it hurts him .

he cried for you ?
or cried because of you ?

and please .
im not jealous cos he cried .
i just dont want him to cry anymore .
he's facing enough shit as it is .

you think it is smart of you to keep hurting yourself ?
if you are suffering from whatever,
get out of the situation then.
you're old enough to make the proper decisions .
dont you think so ?

why stick around ?
cos you had no other choice ?
that if u left ;
something worse is going to happen ?
that more people are going to get hurt ?
that as long they are happy, its okay ?

and then what ?
you blame yourself .
and then hurt yourself again .
its just a stupid vicious circle .

no one can tell you to stop doing things to yourself .
only you can make the decision to do so .
at the most you'll only feel .
the guilt of making the ones who care for you
worry about you and what you are thinking about .
and then promise not to do it again .

same thing over and over again .
teenage angst .
how sick .
but this is Life .
a bitch and a joy .

if what im saying now .
hurts you .
im sorry .
but im just thinking alot .
and this is what i feel .

you may be right about the property thing .
but i just hate that word .
just that word .
i dont have a reason why .
but having it in the same sentence with a person .
it just doesnt appeal to me .

and i dont hate you .
like i said .
you were my friend .
my so called ai ai .
how can i ever bring myself to hate you ?
i dont even dislike you . lols .
hah .
believe it or not .
i still like you as a person .

i cant tell you to back off and dont bother him .
cos everyone has a right to like someone .
no matter what the extent .

help me out will you ?
help me make him happy .

cos its impossible for me alone .

this is my two cents in this whole matter .
its your decision to understand or just ignore this whole lot of crap .
im not the type who will hunt you down like a bloodhound .
im not the type who will confront you with the whole thing .


just ..
takecare of yourself .

im just so tired.. all i wanted was for you to live life and dont go back to your past . but i cant do that anymore.. i dont know what to do anymore .. im smiling and smiling .. trying very hard to be happy so that somehow .. in some way, it can reach out to you .. i wont give up .. unless you do ..
- SHAA