you've been gone for almost 24 hours ..
and not letting anyone know where you are ..

you're scaring me ..
i dont know what to think anymore ..
everytime i ask jeff ,
he replies with " not yet . "
my heart sank lower than anything .

do you hear my heart calling out for you ?
do you feel the love i have for you ?
can you sense how much i need you here with me ?

lessy and simin meii said its okay to breakdown .
i dont need to pretend anymore .
im breaking down now .
have been, ever since that stupid sms i sent you .

i just cried .

when i found out that my grandad passed away ..
truth was that ..
i cried because i lost you ..
i cried because i cant feel you anymore ..
i cried because i .. let my emotions take control .

i just want you back, badly .

i know that sounds stupid and selfish .
and you might think im a complete ass .

i cant take it ..
if you were happy, i could endure.. somehow ..

but finding out that ..
i turned out to be the second you-know-who . huiyuan x.x
i turned out to be the one who hurt you the most .
i made you stop believing in love ...?

if you can find it in your heart, to forgive me ..
will you give us a second chance at love ... ?

i know .. not everyone gets a second chance .
but i want one with you .. no .. scratch that ..
i need one with you ..

baby, will you come back to me ...?

--------------

jeff didi .
i promised you didnt i .
i will try until i really cannot make it .
i wont be so rash anymore .
help me find him please ..
need help, just tell me .
i will be there in a heartbeat .
i'll do anything to get him back, safe ..

simin meii .
im sorry for hurting you .
im sorry i had to pretend .
the more i fake smiled, the more you could see .
in my selfishness, i made you get hurt .
and for that, i cant forgive myself .
im sorry i was so weak that night,
letting my emotions blind me ..
but i will change things ..
i will do everything ..
and i wont hold back anymore ..
we'll be happy again, together .
you, me, jeff and him ..

ting lessy .
scold me please .
i regretted .
i didnt know things would end up this way .
im not strong enough .
keep breaking down .
even now, im already breaking down .
i want to run away from it all and drown myself with food .
but the pain wont go away ..
i know you are there for me .
i can always count on you .
so dont worry about me okay ?
lovee ya (:

ting jie .
jie .
thanks for always being there for me .
stop saying that you are useless can ?
if i say no, its not that you are useless .
its just me being the usual stubborn biyatch .
thank you for hugging me when i cried .
thank you for making me laugh .
thank you for keeping me normal ( somehow xD ) .
thank you for telling me when i over react .
thank you for hitting me when i think too much .
thank you for being the greatest jie anyone could ask for .
in all my lifetimes, you'll be someone ..
i will always keep close to my heart .

brian jiefu .
eventhough i only know you for a short short time .
you still couselled me ..
and somehow gave some advice
that did get into my head .
thanks for being a crapper and letting jie and me,
suan and shoot you til i smiled that night .
no hard feelings yeah ?
and .. i appreciate the thought of you ..
determined to drag jie to find me today .
lols .
touched urh, but its okay alright ?
im a big girl now .. i can take care of myself .
just jiayou me from afar and last super long with my jie alright ?


thank you everyone for caring so much .
knowing that you guys have my back ..
gives me the strength to continue ..
and not back away from anything ..
thanks again .
love you all .
i do .. really (:

- SHAA